Can ITIL save us from the Recession?
Dear Wizard
Can I use ITIL to protect my IT department from the effects of this Recession?
Thanks
New CIO
Dear New CIO,
Clearly you can - this is generally agreed in the industry. But the potential power of ITIL is far greater. I have been writing to the Obama administration weekly since the election, pointing out to them how they have been irresponsible, nay derelict in their duties, by not applying ITIL processes to the running of the US economy. A little simple problem management and an effective service desk function and the USA would be in good shape by now. And they know it is true - they are hiding from me. Once they realised there was no other answer to my arguments they stopped replying.
There are a small number of vendors still providing proud service to their nation by pointing the way, but most of the IT industry are cowards (it's OK, it is in vogue to call IT people cowards right now) and are selfishly focusing their ITIL efforts only on their own organisations instead of trying to save the USA from late-empire decline. I think it is an outrage.
Europe too: since I realised I would get nowhere with Obama I have been emailing the World Bank and the European Community daily. Once I get past their spam filters I expect a more intelligent welcome there. I have had some modest success elsewhere too: the Nigerian government has initiated a project already. I am raising seed funding for it now if you wish to contribute - they are in a great hurry to get started. Sensible people.
If you are a real man you will stand up with me and call for worldwide adoption of ITIL as a political system. If you aren't up to it, then of course you should spare no expense to apply ITIL across your own organisation. It is well documented how ITIL bountifully returns on the investment. I saw yet another rigorous vendor case study just recently
Good luck!
The ITIL Wizard
Made in New Zealand 
Comments
all Bush's fault
A reader points out this is all Bush's fault: he should have introduced ITIL years ago. Heck he coulda had the death penalty for those who didn't adopt it.
Obama is of course a good guy ("reminiscent of Lincoln" I saw the other day): he would clearly have implemented ITIL if he had the chance before it was too late. So why won't he answer my calls?
ITIL to save the world from recession
A very funny article. I love sarcasm.
If we just had communism implemented properly everything would be wonderfull and nirvana would be achievable. Unforutnately there are those pesky humans who keep on reacting in ways that are non-compliant. It is frustrating when
your trying to save the wolrd and humans keep on getting in the way.
Similarity between US website stats and ITIL benefit claims?
There seems to be a striking similarity between the algorithms used at www.recovery.gov to track the value and benefits derived from the US Federal Government's stimulus program and how ITIL benefits are calculated and marketed by some.... (Enter a 'problems with recovery.gov data' in Google... priceless).
The site that cost $18m to 'refresh' has come under withering fire from those checking the data. One recent example, was that from a Texas zipcode of 78703 which received $41m via 7 grants and generated or 'saved' 20.16 jobs..... do the math. It would have cheaper to just stick a pin in the telephone directory and mail it to them directly.
As I said classic... run by the establishment...
What chance we can get Obama to buy ITIL and distribute a free copy to everyone..... ? Do I hear petition?
bounteous benefits
Great idea Ian.
let's say half a million foundation certified people in the entire USA. So that's about $200M for a copy each. But TSO will give you at least 40% discount for that many so call it $120M. Just a drop in the stimulus bucket if ITIL really returns the bounteous benefits attributed to it
ITIL Cookie Drive
Skep
I'll admit I have lived here too long - the US - but there is a reason - no snow (unless I travel), no trains to worry about arriving on time (we have the internet, planes or freeways), and an entrepreneurial attitude that gives every idea at least one shot.
The latter let me to look around me for a way of generating enough in the way of donations from the ITIL biased professional community to buy ITIL. Why don't we copy the Girl Scouts movement - they raised tens of millions each year and have a $250m headquarters that would put Trump to shame. We could try an ITIL cookie drive, selling cookies for $6 a box outside of every ITSM event worldwide???
I know where to get the cookies made. We just need a few flavors that perhaps represent each book - any ideas on what goes into the Service Strategy box for example??? First thoughts lead me to suggest a healthy dollop of molasses... fudge, and perhaps peanuts to stick in your teeth.
And... could we do this without falling foul of the value add rules? We could run it through a non-profit organization - perhaps itSMF... $6 a box - we could buy ITIL in installments...